And They Landed Safely

In my never-ending search for interesting paper, I came across this Boeing advertisement in a 1945 National Geographic. I was -- and am -- astounded as to the amount of damage this B-17 took over Germany in World War II.
A bit of Internet search took me to a very interesting site (www.daves'warbirds) in which the survival accounts of many B-17 are reported and shown.
The site says:
"The B-17 "All American" (414th Squadron, 97the Battle Group) flown by Lieutenant Kenneth R. Bragg, its tail section almost severed by a collision with an enemy fighter, flew 90 minutes back to its home base, landed safely and broke in two after landing.
SOURCE: Flying Forts by Martin Caiden."
The website offers a couple additional photos of the plane after landing.
The advertisement adds a little color:
"This slashed-in-two Flying Fortress theoretically should not fly. There had been stiff fighter opposition. In the melee, a Messerschmitt, crazily out of control, crashed into it.
"The German plane was destroyed upon impact. The Fortress's fuselage was ripped diagonally from top to bottom. Control surfaces were carried away. The tail gunner, suddenly imperiled in his wabbling section, crawled forward onto the narrow floor structure that held the parts together. And the Fortress flew steadily -- back to her base for a perfect landing."

I Just Don't Know What to Say . . .

Here's a 1954 advertisement for Old Gold cigarettes. It would appear that 55 years ago there was no political correctness when it came to poodles.

And a little bit of lousy re-touching makes this poodle appear to be smiling -- just really happy to be inhaling that tobacco smoke! And little Fifi there appears somewhat tentative. Or maybe this pair is just having a smoke after a little bit of, uh, well, you know. Woof, woof.

So, try as I might, the picture cries out for a proper caption -- can anyone out there help? My other reader would be grateful.

Mystery Object: Bottle In A Broom

One of the things that make collecting so much fun is finding a thing, an object, a thingamabob, a gizmo that just can't be identified. Try as I might, I have not found one these things on the internet and none of the antique collectors with whom I come in contact has ever seen anything like it.

"It" is a whisk broom wrapped around a half-pint size bottle.

Now I can imagine all sort of uses:

The valet who dusts off your clothing and then has access to a quick nip, all the while keeping it secret.

The housewife who brushes up the dinner table and then decides on a short snort -- you know, something to take the edge off.

The old man cleaning out the car on a Saturday morning needs a little fortification -- but not so's the neighbors will know.

Maybe hooch and secrecy are not involved -- but then why keep the bottle under wraps?

It is obviously a manufactured item, with fine tight stitching around the straws, a nicely made cork stopper - but nary a name tag anywhere

What does my reader think?

Help me, please

Who Says There Is No Santa Claus?

In a message dated 12/24/2008 10:52:58 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, ENovak@ascentmedia.com writes:

> Santa and Science
> 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are
> 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified,
> and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not
> completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has
> ever seen.
>
> 2) There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under
> 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle
> Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces
> the workload by 85% of the total-- leaving 378 million
> according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an
> average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household,
> that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at
> least one good child per house.
>
> 3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to
> the different time zones and the rotation of the earth,
> assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
> This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
> This is to say that for each Christian household with good
> children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of
> the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking,
> distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
> whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get
> back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
>
> 4) Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are
> evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we
> know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we
> will accept), we are now talking about
> 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million
> miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least
> once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that
> Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000
> times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
> fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe,
> moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional
> reindeer can run, at tops
> 25-30 miles per hour.
>
> 5) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting
> element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a
> medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs.), the sleigh is carrying
> 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
> described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer
> can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the
> "flying reindeer" can pull TEN TIMES that normal
> amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine--we
> need 214,200 reindeer. This increased the payload--not
> even counting the weight of the sleigh--to 353,430 tons.
> Again for comparison, this is four times the weight of the
> HMS Queen Elizabeth.
>
> 6) Three hundred and fifty-three thousand tons travelling
> at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance.
> This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
> spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
> The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy
> per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames
> almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them,
> and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The
> entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26
> thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject
> to centrifugal forces of 17,500.06 times greater than
> gravity. A 250 lb. Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)
> would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a
> 4,315,015 pound force.
>
> In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents on
> Christmas eve, he's now dead.

Now, I don't know who ENovak is and all those mathematical calculations are well and good -- but his conclusion is sideways. Santa Claus would not be dead. How else to explain the miracles that have occurred around the world on this day? Santa Claus could be dead from all that exertion? C'mon Virginia, of course Santa Claus would be alive and well and asking for more. There's a little bit of Santa Claus living in all of us. And that's how this miraculous delivery job gets done. Ask any of the billion of Santa's adult elves who have stayed up half the night wrestling with packages that say "some assembly required." It's obvious to the most casual observer. Ask any five-year-old.
Santa Claus dead? I think not. He's just real tired.

Illustration Courtesy: Webweaver's Free Clip Art

Chariot Racing Help Needed

I have acquired the pictured silver belt buckle and have questions. It's one of those large (4 inches by 3 inches) and very well made belt buckles similar to those cowboys earn for bull riding or calf roping or bronc riding at major rodeos. This one, however, pictures two running horses, PULLING A CHARIOT!
I know there are chariot races held throughout the West and have searched the Web high and low and cannot locate a name that fits SRRA. The buckle is dated 1983 on the front. It was manufacured in German silver by the Montana Silversmiths of Columbus, Mont. My contact with them was brief, to the point of rudeness and completely helpless.
So, I'm turning to my reader with two questions:
1. What is the meaning of SRRA? 2. What does "1st Aged" mean?

Christmas Conundrum

As previously mentioned, I look for, and find, all kinds of old paper -- this piece was found rumpled up in the bottom of a box of old Christmas Cards. I'd opine it to be from the 1960s.

So, for my reader out there: May all your holidays be happy!

(Caution: Adult material ahead!)

San Francisco 49ers Fight Song

Someone asked me the other day if the San Francico 49ers had a fight song. Assuring the questioner that they certainly did need one, I dragged out some of my memorabilia to display the accompanying song sheet. I do not know if this is an "official," NFL-approved fight song, but here it is. The song was written by Martin Judnich in 1952 and published two years later. (Yes, son, there was a football team called the 49ers before Joe Montana came to town.)

It is also reported that during the days when the team was playing at Kezar a group of local and loyal musicians would break into song with "San Francisco," the tune from the 1930s movie of the same name and made popular by Tony Bennett.

By the way, the 49er cartoon character was used on all the 49er promotion stuff during this period. The "Official 49er Majorette" on the cover is Pat Maulden. It wasn't until the NFL mandated teams to have them in the 1980s when the 'Niners started featuring cheerleaders, to satisfy the television broadcasters.

You can listen to the 49ers Fight Song as played by The National Football League Marching Band -- no lyrics -- on:

http://philadelphia-eagles.net/fightsongs/nfc-49ers.html and

http://www.angelfire.com/fl/TheCard/fightnw.html

I am not sure you'll like it much as it doesn't seem to have much rhythm, even though it also is labeled "Football Polka."

Here's the lyrics (maybe someone out there will have the capability of matching them to the music):

"This is our football fight song, It has some cheering words

If you want fancy singing we leave that to the birds

And while our band is playing we sing it for the foe

And when our gang starts driving we yell GO-GO-GO-GO!

1. When our band plays football tempo, All the fans will cheer and sing

So when our team is fighting to go, You will hear our voices ring

We all know our team fights for us, And the fans do want some fun

We soon will loudly sing the chorus, While the foe is on the run.

2. Let's sing the good old Football Polka, While we shout GO-GO-GO-GO!

We cheer our team of Alma Mater, While they GO-GO-GO-GO-GO!

Our gang shall drive and keep on rolling, And across the goal they'll go

Let's sing the good old Football Polka, While we GO-GO-GO-GO-GO!

3. Let's sing the Forty Niner's Fight Song, While we shout GO-GO-GO-GO!

We cheer our team of San Francisco, While they GO-GO-GO-GO-GO!

Our gang shall drive and keep on rolling, And across the goal they'll go

Let's sing the Forty Niner's Fight Song, While we GO-GO-GO-GO-GO!"

--by Martin Judnich, 1952

What more can I say?