Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Antiseptic Baby (?)

I often buy boxes or folders crammed with old paper stuff -- maps, letters, photos, postcards, advertisements, programs. My initial examination is rather cursory but when I get the material home, a closer look often yields some fascinating stuff. And some is just plain weird. Take for instance, the four-page mimeographed folder of nine songs. The one that caught my eye is labeled "The Antiseptic Baby." I have no idea of its origin or meaning and Google was no help. I leave it to you to help me out. Here it is.
(My original post, copied from an old folded mimeograph sheet, had some errors which were brought to my attention by an alert reader. This is the correct version, with the proper title.)

"Strictly Germ-Proof"
(aka: "The Antiseptic Baby" )

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when a Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised; -
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
and washed it in permanganate and carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
and 'lected him a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his daily rations from a Hygienic Cup -
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.


Prophylactic: disease preventing
Permanganate: a salt of permanganic acid
Carbolated soap: a salt of carbolic acid
Micrococcus: Spherical bacterium usually found on the skin of animals
Iodoform: compound of iodine used as an antiseptic.

18 comments:

Mike said...

The poem was written by Arthur Guiterman (1871-1943), an American poet best known for his humorous poems. According to wikipedia, he was born of American parents in Vienna, and graduated from the City College of New York. He was an editor of the Woman's Home Companion and the Literary Digest. In 1910 he co-founded the Poetry Society of America. He was the author of more than a dozen collections of poems.

Carole said...

Mike, my father Ralph K Blasingame at ralph.blasingame@gmail.com would like to contact you regarding the letters of his grandfather, he is just interested in where they were found, he has been home with a little heart trouble, he is quite a hard worker, he retired as a Sacramento sheriff, his Dad passed a few years back, probalby 10 years ago now but anyways if you have the time would greatly appreciate (by the way what is your last name - is it Lewis? that is my mothers maiden name from Durham, CA) anyhow, thank you

errntknght said...

There are quite a number of errors in the version you found - I memorized it about 60 years ago well enough to remember most of it. A few corrections that might help - "the bunny gamboled up" - not 'gambled". "regarded it with loathing undisguised" - not "and diguise"
"steamed in a vapor of a thousand"
"froze him a freezer as cold as banished hope"
Nearly all the connective words at the beginnings of the lines are not in the original. (In order):
Oh,
Well,
because
Well,
so
then
and
Now,
and

Mike said...

Reader errntknght:
Thank you very much for catching the errors. Further research finds that the poem is actually titled "Strictly Germ-Proof," as shown by several websites, including rpo-library,utoronto.ca/poem
I have made appropriate corrections.
Mike

quantum6328 said...

I typed a remembered rhyme from a long time ago " The Antiseptic Baby and the--- “ into Google with not the slightest expectation of finding anything but a blank recognition window. SURPRISE ! That verse was in a paper back book used in a second grade class of 1937 – 1938 -- called "Health Habits". . I only recall the first verse -- don't recall -- (“someone” sawed off that part of my memory) -- if the poem in its entirety was included. That verse climbed back into the forefront of my memory 2-3 years ago and persisted. I wondered if it was a verse invented especially for that book on “health habits” or -- -- --. Now I know.
Thanks to all concerned.
The school ?? -- Wann Consolidated School District, Wann, Oklahoma -- grades 1-12 -- built by the WPA – estimated total enrollment estimate 150 students – during a good year. The only thing left now to indicate a building had been there is a large broken concrete slab.

Judy said...

My Dad used to recite that when I was a little kid in the late '50s. But he recited it as The Hygenic Baby. Some of the wording is different from the way he always recited it, but definitely the same poem.

i do not blog said...

i learned this poen in 1956 for a public speaking class. i remember the line being they froze it in a freezer as cold as billy hope.

but thank you you gave me another verse.

elaine

Jeff said...

Mike,

I doubt that "daily" (in line starting "They each imbibe..." was ever in Guiterman's original.

It doesn't fit the iambic heptameter of the poem (7 pairs of unstressed/stressed) syllables to a line.

Please remove it and restore the proper meter so that (1) others won't stumble over it, and (2) Guiterman can stop spinning in his grave! :)

Jeff Brand

Kay in Cincinnati, Ohio said...

My daughter born in 1962, memorized this poem at age 5 for her kindergarten class. It was one of many I would read to her from a wonderful book of poetry I had back then (now long lost). My daughter now has her PhD and teaches at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Reading to the children does help them, but only a few are willing to sit and listen.

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